It’s amazing how the universe works. This message, from a lung transplant patient, had done for me exactly what she was thanking me for doing for her.
Exactly what I needed when I needed it. God is good.

I really enjoyed the warm, in-depth conversation with hosts Doug Vincent, and Addie Rich.

“In this powerful episode of Walk and Roll Live, we sit down with Bob Millsap to hear his incredible story of perseverance through unimaginable challenges. From losing his fiancée at a young age, to building a life and family with his wife Shelly, to navigating career highs and devastating setbacks, Bob’s journey is one of resilience and faith. After nearly losing Shelly to a freak explosion, becoming her caregiver, and later surviving 53 days in the hospital with Covid-19, Bob now faces long-term health conditions with determination and courage. Through his book Shake Yourself Free and his ongoing writing, Bob shares how he has found meaning and purpose in the midst of pain. His story will inspire anyone facing adversity to keep moving forward with hope.”

It’s an incredible story of baseball, beer, and friendship.

In 2016, our story went viral when by was told by Mike Rowe on his popular podcast, “The Way I Heard It”. The episode was called “You Don’t Know Mike”.

Back in 2001, I was working in the grocery business for Wild Oats Markets. I oversaw stores throughout the country.

In early September of that year, I was sent to the east coast. Starting in Florida for two days, I then flew to Boston for a day before driving to visit a couple of stores in Connecticut.

On September 10, 2001, my co-worker Simon and I finished our project several hours early in Westport, CT. It was noon, and we realized that we suddenly had a free afternoon and evening. We weren’t scheduled to fly back home until more than twenty-four hours later, on September 11^th, from LaGuardia Airport in New York City. My mom texted me and said, “You should go to Yankee Stadium, Roger Clemens is pitching tonight”.

We checked out of our hotel and headed right away to New York City.

We bought great tickets near home plate, then it started raining like crazy. The game was delayed. After an hour or so, we headed into the stadium and got situated in our prime seats near the field, between home plate and first base.

We just got into our seats, and right in front of us was my lifelong best friend, Mike, and his wife Elena, who were walking by. I was in disbelief at such a wild coincidence.

Mike and I had been to dozens of LA Dodgers games together as we grew up in Bakersfield, California. Now here we were running into each other at Yankee Stadium.

The rain started up again, and the game was cancelled. Mike and Elena didn’t have a vehicle at the game, and we didn’t have a hotel booked for the night. So they jumped into our rental car and we headed to their apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey.

We could see Manhattan and the World Trade Center perfectly from Hoboken. Energized by the sight, we came up with the idea of going to visit Mike’s office in the morning to see the amazing view on our way to the airport.

Throughout the night, I called my wife, my parents, and a few people that I worked with. I told each of them how unbelievable it was that we ran into Mike and Elena and that we were going to spend the night at their apartment. I also shared my idea of going to work with Mike on our way to the airport in the morning.

Mike, Simon, and I went to a great little Irish Pub in Mike’s neighborhood. The Harps and Guinness started flowing. We listened to music from a great jukebox and had a lively, beer-fueled conversation, as Mike and Simon hit it off really well. Mike kept saying he needed to get to bed, but we kept insisting on “one more beer”.

We left the bar at closing time and headed to Mike’s apartment.

Once there, our drunken voices were loud, as we tried to talk over the blaring music we were playing from Pixies, and The Smiths. Elena got up a few times and told us to be quiet. After 3 AM, we finally went to bed, with the obvious agreement that we would not be getting up early to go to work with Mike. We said our goodbyes as Mike said he’d manage to be up for work early.

When I woke up not too many hours later, I heard the shower going. Then I heard someone leave the apartment. A bit later, I finally salvaged enough energy to get up. I told Simon to get off the couch and jump in the shower. I turned the TV on. I immediately saw that a tower had been hit. I opened the curtain and could see the smoke as I looked at lower Manhattan out the window.

Panicked, I assumed I had heard Mike leave earlier. But I rushed towards Mike and Elena’s bedroom and hollered for him. No response at first, so I kept hollering, “Mike, are you in there?”. Finally, Mike replied with an attitude that he was still in bed because he was hungover.

It was Elena that I had heard in the shower earlier. Her daily destination was the train station in the basement of the World Trade Center. She worked adjacent to the World Trade Center at One Liberty Plaza and had been alerted to the first tower being hit just prior to departing the train station in Hoboken. She turned around and headed back to the apartment. I will never forget how extreme the emotion was as she rushed in and thanked us for keeping Mike up so late.

Mike worked for the small investment banking firm of Sandler O’Neill. His office was on the 104th floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center. Mike wasn’t at his desk that morning because for the only time ever, a hangover kept him from going to work on time.

There were eighty-two of Mike’s co-workers in the office that morning. Despite the reassurance over the loudspeakers to stay put, sixteen of Mike’s co-workers took the elevator down to vacate the building after the first plane hit. The remaining sixty-six stayed and continued working.

They did not survive.

The reality of the day started to take over as the shock made way to Mike coming to the overwhelming realization, sadness, and confirmation that so many friends and colleagues did not make it.

With the airports closed, Simon and I stayed with Mike & Elena for three more days. On the 12^th Simon and I took the train into Manhattan to show our support for the team at our company-owned store at 89^th & Broadway. We visited the store and then walked the relatively empty streets of the city.

I was blown away by how kind, unified, and helpful everyone was in the aftermath of this tragedy. People were solely focused on helping people. It was the best I have ever seen in humanity. The image and feeling of this unity, sincerity, and goodness were life-changing for me and have stayed with me ever since.

Every year, Mike and I talk on 9/11.

God bless America. Never forget 9/11/01.

—

In 2023, I published my first book, Shake Yourself Free. Chapter 8 tells the 9/11 story in even greater detail, including the valuable lessons to learn from it and action items to use in your life.

It’s been an emotional time on many different levels.
In December, I was asked to give a eulogy in my hometown of Bakersfield for my deceased fiancé’s mother. I made the eight-hour drive and was proud and relieved at how that went.
Dana died in 1990, and most of the people in attendance I hadn’t seen since her funeral over 34 years ago. Dana’s family made me feel extremely welcome, which brought me comfort. I don’t think my five-minute talk could have been done any better, I was pleased with how I could convey what I wanted to say, which honored both Dana, and her mom.
I had genuine conversations with many, including a heartfelt conversation with the clergyman who presided over both Dana’s, and her mom’s funeral. I was snubbed by Dana’s best friend (who was the speaker directly after me). Thirty-one years ago, she wasn’t happy with how I moved my life forward with Shelly, somebody that she knew. Seeing her, after all these years, still hold such a grudge—gave me a strange sense of closure. I pray that she’s able to one day find peace.
On February 22nd, which was my parents’ 61st wedding anniversary, my dad passed away at 88. I am grateful and blessed that he lived such a good, long life, but it sure is hard losing him. We were extremely close; I am an only child and worked alongside him in our family grocery business for many years. In these most recent years, with my medical retirement, I could spend so much quality time with him and my mom. They did not drive in recent years, so I brought them their groceries, got them to their appointments, and saw them nearly every day. I will always be extremely thankful for the blessing of such quality time together.
His funeral was an incredible celebration of his life. As an Army veteran, we had a short military ceremony at the National Cemetery of Arizona, presided over by a Deacon from our church, St Thomas More.
I gave the eulogy, speaking for nearly fifteen minutes.
I prayed that I would be able to keep my emotions in check enough to say all that I wanted to say. For the most part, I was able to do that. I could express what a legendary grocer, businessman, and family man he was.
I told stories that brought both laughs and tears, focusing on both his brilliance and sense of humor.
I came closest to losing my composure was told how my parents sacrificed it all when I needed it most.
I explained that fresh out of college, I was managing one of our stores.
My fiancé, Dana, was killed in a car accident three weeks before her college graduation. I was shattered, and my life was stalled.
One day, Dad excitedly came up with the idea of selling our stores in California and starting fresh somewhere new. He knew exactly what I needed and had no fear in making sure that it successfully happened.
Traveling through the South and Midwest, looking at stores, we finally settled on buying three Piggly Wiggly Supermarkets in western Kentucky.
Dad was right—drastic change is exactly what I needed. Six months after our move, my dear friend Shelly came to visit. During that visit, our relationship changed. On Wednesday (May 14th), we celebrate our 31st anniversary. I am so grateful for the incredible life that we have been able to build together, with two amazing sons, Dylan and Taylor.
I miss my dad a lot, but I am choosing to focus on all the blessings of the good, long life he had.
I feel fortunate that I can spend so much time with my mom. We are taking great care in making sure that she is doing well. Last month we took her to Las Vegas for a few days. It was great to get her out of town for the first time in a while. We even visited St. Ann’s, the catholic church where Mom & Dad were married.
It’s all been a lot. It has challenged me to the core.
I write and talk often about overcoming adversity. These last several months have pushed me to do all that I can to pull from many of the positive lessons I have learned from my previous struggles.
We just got back from a trip to Hawaii. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Spending such quality time in paradise with Shelly was exactly what I needed. As a young man, I took trips like this for granted, but after years of vacations not being in the budget, I now center my attention on thanking God for the blessings.
Nothing is ever guaranteed, and none of us has any idea how long we will be on this earth. My focus is to spend my time with those I love, while listening to lots of music, and living life to its absolute fullest.

I surprised my mom by picking her up in their 1988 Jaguar that they handed down to me. It’s still in remarkably pristine condition. It is a perfect example of how neat, orderly, and precise Dad kept every single thing around him.
Mom was overcome with happiness, and I felt such a sense of pride as we cruised to the cemetery together, with Dad’s remains in the urn box on the floorboard between Mom’s feet.
The service began promptly at 2PM, with a Military trumpeter playing Taps. Tears flowed.
Then a beautiful flag ceremony transpired, which concluded with the flag being presented to Mom.
Next came Deacon Richard from St Thomas More, the Catholic Church where Dad was baptized and confirmed over ten years ago. He did a wonderful job leading us in prayer and reminding us of what a beautiful place Dad had gone to for eternal rest.
I was the sole speaker. I’ve always been a comfortable storyteller on paper. In more recent years I have become comfortable talking and telling stories in front of people. So, nerves weren’t an issue, but I prayed that I could keep my emotions in check enough to say what I wanted to say.
At times I had to slow down, let the burst of emotion pass, and channel the focus and breathing skills I’ve learned in yoga. But for the most part, I held it together.
I was able to express what a legendary grocer, businessman, and family man Dad was while telling some of the lessons and wisdom I had learned from him.
He was a man from a different era. Where your word is your bond, and a handshake seals the deal.
I was able to give a sense of how his primary focus was on us, his family.
I told stories that showed both his brilliance, as well as his sense of humor. Plus, how much integrity and respect he garnered as a business leader.
An amazing story I shared was about what began as a bit of a contentious meeting with a customer of ours, civil rights leader Caesar Chavez. I will never forget the meeting ending with Caesar embracing Dad and telling him how much respect he had for Dad as a man, and how much he respected the way he did business.

Where I came closest to losing my composure was in telling how my parents sacrificed it all when I needed it most.
Fresh out of college, I was running one of our stores. My fiancé was killed in a car accident three weeks before her college graduation. I was shattered, and my life was stalled.
One day Dad excitedly came up with the idea of selling our stores in California and finding some stores across the country to buy.
He knew exactly what I needed and had no fear of making sure it successfully happened. An adventure of a lifetime ensued, as we flew to look at stores in Kansas, Louisiana, and Missouri. We finally settled on three Piggly Wiggly Supermarkets in Western Kentucky.
Dad was right. This change is exactly what I needed. My life moved forward from there.
Six months into the move, my good friend Shelly came to see me. Our relationship surprisingly changed during that visit.
Shelly and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary last year.
We had fun owning and operating those stores for five years before selling, and all of us moved to Arizona.

I spoke until nearly 2:30, and I am proud of how well it went.
In the front row were Mom and Shelly, along with our youngest son Taylor, and his girlfriend Hanna, and our oldest son Dylan, and his fiancé Ashley.
It’s a blessing that the boys were able to know their grandpa so well. Many of his valuable lessons are ingrained into them.
I’m grateful that my two cousins Pam and Susan flew in from California. They stayed with Mom for a couple of days and did so much good in lifting her spirits.
We were completely blown away and touched that two of Dad’s most key people at the store he owned the longest, walked up to us all as the funeral was about to begin. They made the eight-hour drive from Bakersfield, saying there’d be no way that they would have missed it. It was so special having them there.

We were all stunned when a military flyover happened slightly after the end of the service.
Most attendees navigated over to Mom’s house where we ended such a meaningful day with much good conversation.
While I was on my way to pick up Mom, I was getting my mind prepared by listening to Nick Cave—my deepest favorite singer.
A lyric suddenly struck me in his song, Joy.
“we’ve all had too much sorrow, now is the time for joy.”
It truly was an honor and a joy to celebrate a life so well lived.

Joy – Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

I share the 9/11 story of myself and my childhood best friend, Mike, every year.

It’s an amazing story of baseball, beer and friendship.

In 2016 our story went viral by being told by Mike Rowe on his “The Way I Heard It” podcast. The episode was called “You Don’t Know Mike”.

Back in 2001 I worked in the grocery business for Wild Oats Markets, overseeing stores throughout the country.

In early September of that year, I was sent to the east coast. Starting in Florida for two days, I then flew to Boston for a day before driving to visit a couple of stores in Connecticut.

On September 10, 2001 my co-worker Simon and I finished our project several hours early in Westport, CT. It was noon and we realized that we suddenly had a free afternoon and evening. We weren’t scheduled to fly back home until more than twenty-four hours later, on September 11^th from La Guardia Airport in New York City. My mom texted me and said, “you should go to Yankee Stadium, Roger Clemens is pitching tonight”.

We checked out of our hotel and headed down to New York City right away.

We bought great tickets near home plate, then it started raining like crazy. The game was delayed. After an hour or so we headed into the stadium and got situated into our prime seats near the field, between home plate and first base.

We just got into our seats and right in front of us was my lifelong best-friend Mike and his wife, Elena walking by. I was in disbelief of such a wild coincidence.

Mike and I had been to dozens of LA Dodgers games together as we grew up in Bakersfield, California. Now here we were running into each other at Yankee Stadium.

The rain started up again and the game was cancelled. Mike and Elena didn’t have a vehicle at the game, and we didn’t have a hotel booked for the night. So they jumped into our rental car and we headed to their apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey.

We could see Manhattan and the World Trade Center perfectly from Hoboken. Energized by the sight, we came up with the idea of going to visit Mike’s office in the morning to see the amazing view on our way to the airport.

Throughout the night I called my wife, my parents and a few people that I worked with. I told each of them how unbelievable it was that we ran into Mike and Elena and that we were going to spend the night at their apartment. I also shared my idea of going into work with Mike on our way to the airport in the morning.

Mike, Simon and I went to a great little Irish Pub in Mike’s neighborhood. The Harp’s and Guinness’s started flowing. We listened to music from a great jukebox and had a lively, beer-fueled conversation, as Mike and Simon hit it off really well. Mike kept saying he needed to get to bed, but we kept insisting “one more beer”.

We left the bar at closing time and headed to Mike’s apartment.

Once there, our drunken voices were loud, as we tried to talk over blaring music we were playing from the Pixies, and The Smiths. A few times Elena got up and told us to be quiet. After 3 AM we finally went to bed with the obvious agreement that we would not be getting up early to go to work with Mike. We said our goodbyes as Mike said he’d manage to be up early.

When I woke up not too many hours later, I heard the shower going. Then I heard someone leave the apartment. A bit later I finally salvaged enough energy to get up. I told Simon to get off the couch and jump in the shower. I turned the TV on. I immediately saw that a tower had been hit. I opened the curtain and could see the smoke as I looked at lower Manhattan out the window.

Panicked, I assumed I had heard Mike leave earlier. But I rushed towards Mike and Elena’s bedroom and hollered for him. No response at first, so I kept hollering “Mike, are you in there?” Finally, Mike replied with an attitude that he was still in bed because he was hungover.

It was Elena that I had heard in the shower earlier. Her daily destination was the train station in the basement of the World Trade Center. She worked adjacent to the World Trade Center at One Liberty Plaza and had been alerted to the first tower being hit just prior to departing the train station in Hoboken. She turned around and headed back to the apartment. I will never forget how extreme the emotion was as she rushed in and thanked us for keeping Mike up so late.

Mike worked for the small investment banking firm Sandler O’Neill. His office was on the 104th floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center. Mike wasn’t at his desk that morning because for the only time ever, a hangover kept him from going to work on time.

There were eighty-two of Mike’s co-workers in the office that morning. Despite the reassurance over the loudspeakers to stay put, sixteen of Mike’s co-workers took the elevator down to vacate the building after the first plane hit. The remaining sixty-six stayed and continued working.

They did not survive.

The reality of the day started to take over as the shock made way to Mike coming to the overwhelming realization, sadness and confirmation that so many friends and colleagues did not make it.

With the airports closed, Simon and I stayed with Mike & Elena for three more days. On the 12^th Simon and I took the train into Manhattan to show our support for the team at our company owned store at 89^th & Broadway. We visited the store and then walked the relatively empty streets of the city.

I was blown away by how kind, unified and helpful everyone was in the aftermath of this tragedy. People were solely focused on helping people. It was the best I have ever seen in humanity. The image and feeling of this unity, sincerity and goodness was life-changing for me, staying with me ever since.

Every year, Mike and I talk on 9/11.

God bless America. Never forget 9/11/01.

—

Last year, I published my first book, Shake Yourself Free. This 9/11 story is told in Chapter 8 in even greater detail; including the valuable lessons to learn from this story, as well as action items to use in your life.

Buy “Shake Yourself Free” here

I recently had a chest CT scan. It shows significant scarring in both lungs as result of my battle with Covid.
Interstitial lung disease is the diagnosis.
The lung scarring is most likely progressive, which is terminal. But who knows what that really means…
At this point I have many more questions than answers.
I am in the process of making an appointment at the Norton Thoracic Institute at St Joseph’s Hospital for a second opinion.
I will fight this with the same approach I have used to fight all the other adversities I have encountered in my life.
No pity parties, no negativity, and no fear. But lots of hope, hard work, positivity, and gratitude.
Thankfully, I have a strong faith in God, and I am blessed with an unbelievable family, and amazing friends.
I will continue to gain great strength and joy from music—all day, every day.
I will stay as active as possible, while balancing much rest.
I will continue to practice the principles of yoga daily—and have class by zoom every week with my amazing yoga guru, Stacey.
I will be aggressive in finding the proper treatments—utilizing both eastern and western medical approaches.
I will eat right—making sure my diet best sets me up for success.
I will keep writing every morning. I just finished Chapter 10 of the first draft of my next book—which will chronicle my lessons learned from this wild journey from Covid.
I will pray often.
Shelly and I are grateful that the boys are nearby—Taylor moved back to AZ from San Diego in January. He now lives 5 minutes from Dylan in uptown/central Phoenix.
My parents continue to slow down but are doing well.
My Dad turns 88 on the 24th! I am fortunate that I can keep a close eye and spend so much time with them.
Shelly and I will live life to its fullest—we recently got back from a western Caribbean cruise with Dylan and his fiancée Ashley—so much fun!
I am blessed to have such a strong and caring wife. I cannot quite put into words how lucky I am to be going through life with Shelly. Her positive, yet pragmatic approach to everything life throws our way blows me away! It is unreal, and I thank God for her every day. This all is difficult for her. Please keep her in your prayers.
Right now, I am on day 32 of a 44-day detox cleanse to get mold out of my system. My mold levels are extremely high (we tested our house—it does not have mold). We have learned that there is a close link between mold toxicity/contamination and people that have had severe covid. So, now I am detoxing, fasting (i.e., starving ), and juicing. Hopefully, this cleanse will clear it from my system. If not, my pulmonologist will treat me with anti-fungal medications.
I have extreme fatigue—I take a nap daily.
I have a chronic cough and my lungs feel heavy.
My brain struggles to quickly process and remember things.
I am excited to have just begun treatment this week at a wellness center that utilizes red light therapy, infrared sauna therapy, and more (I thank my friend Dominick for introducing me).
I guess the term for me now is medically retired. I am thankful for social security disability, long-term disability insurance (through policies I bought with my last employer), and I go onto Medicare next month.
I continue to learn that we have absolutely no idea what is next in life, while having the understanding we cannot take our next breath for granted.
Please keep the prayers coming.

Shelly and I at the beach in Cozumel

With Taylor and Dylan seeing comedian Eric Andre at the Van Buren in downtown Phoenix

Shelly and I out at sea

Watch here…

I spent five years painstakingly working on this book (entirely prior to 9:00 AM each day). I put my complete heart and soul into it. To have it published and shared with the world is without a doubt one of my proudest moments, both personally and professionally.

I’ve been through much devastating adversity in my life. To see my pain take on such a purpose, by helping so many people—wow, what a feeling.

Shake Yourself Free has 55 five-star reviews on Amazon. The lessons learned from my experiences have resonated with many in not only their personal lives but their professional lives too.

I was finished with this book and in the editing process when, yet another life-changing saga occurred. I was hospitalized a total of 53 days with COVID-19 pneumonia. My chances of survival were extremely slim, but I wouldn’t allow my mind or body settle with that reality. I conquered this battle by channeling many of the tools of resilience that I teach in Shake Yourself Free.

With a multitude of lasting health challenges and ramifications from this fight for life, writing does not come as easy for me. But I am slowly working on my second book, which will dive into the details of my near-death experience and ultimate triumph from this harrowing disease.

I’m sharing here a brand-new Goodreads review from a fellow author and widow friend of mine, Danell teNyenhuis Black.

Thank you, Danell. To have such amazing words come from you, means so much to me.

Now, the biggest piece of advice I can give is to pause, appreciate, be kind, and do not hesitate to do those things that make you happy—as tomorrow is not promised.
I’m proud that my book was finally released last spring. A book that not only chronicles my personal and professional struggles with loss and trauma, but lessons learned from my experiences, as well as action items the reader can implement into their own life.
Shake Yourself Free. A title that seems to fit perfectly. I have finally shaken myself from the pain, anger, and rage that engulfed me–which kept me from truly being the human being I had the potential to be.
I did it. I am finally free.
And it’s surreal to have Shake Yourself Free out there doing what I dreamed of it doing—resonating with and helping people.
Message me if you’d like me to sign and send you a copy, or pick it up on Amazon here..

Shake Yourself Free: Take Control of Your Life to Move Through the Pain https://a.co/d/hbn3g5Y